dance with me tonight

The Waiting Room

Patience is not a virtue that I process...
I despise waiting!
Yet, life sometimes is nothing but a waiting room and you feel you are there on your own.
When we are children, we are waiting to be older. My whole childhood I couldn't wait till I was 16! That was when I could date (the boy crazy girl that I am), I could get my ears pierced and I could dye my hair! One day I was 16 and I loved every minute of it! Then, I turned 17..... I had no idea what to do with myself! I was no longer 16! The age that I wanted to be for about half of my life had come and gone in a snap! O no! I could still dye my hair, that I didn't do at 16. I could still get my ears pierced, that I couldn't be bothered with doing. And I could still date, I did have a bf the night I turned 16 haha. 1/3!
At 17 I decided it was silly for me to have waited so long to be 16. I did enjoy my childhood and I'm proud to say that I did have one! My mom let me be a child and refused for me to be a teenage or adult before I had to. At 17 I decided that I was no longer going to wait for things in life! I would take things as they come or I would make them happen, right there and then!
How naive I was! My life is nothing but a waiting room! Sure I can make things happen, but I still have to be patience and wait for the right time. I have to wait to marry. To be a wife. Wait to even have a boyfriend. Definitely wait to be a mother. Wait till I can have a dog and turtle. Wait to go to university. Waiting while I save money to travel, to go to school, to get that hat or belt or necklace that I want. Wait till I can afford a licence. Wait till I can afford a car. Wait for the promotion to pay for that car.
I've always known I'm the most impatient person ever!
At 17 I thought that I no longer was going to wait! If I wanted it, I would make it happen in a moments time!
Life has taught me that you must work for your dreams, but they can't and most likely won't happen when you want them to. Yes I want to be a wife and mother. I want pets. I want a degree in something. I want to be able to drive and have that car. I want to see the world! But I can't. Not now. It's not my turn. I have to wait for my turn to make my dreams happen.
Hopefully in ten years time I'll be out of the waiting room for these things, but I'm sure I'll be in another waiting room waiting for something else!

mockingbird

Dismiss my love

My little brother and I have talked many times about judgement day! The thought of Heavenly Father asking us things is the reason we have or have not done or said things in our lives. 

I often people watch. I enjoy watching people. But I become so sad sometimes when I do most of the time.
I'm a big time talker! And it's the same; when people tell me something, I just get so sad and I think of Heavenly Father and what will He say when the time comes? 

"I blessed you with wealth, why did you live as if you had nothing and just ate beans and bread?"
"I blessed you with a job, why did you quit?"
"I blessed you with a good and healthy body, why did you misuse it?"
"I blessed you with knowledge, why did you teach?"
"I blessed you with land, why did you not till it?""I blessed you with your musically ability, why did you waste it?"
"I blessed you with meat, why did you not eat it?""I blessed you with a home, why did you destroy it?"
"I blessed you with technology, why did you not use it?"
"I blessed you good leaders, why did you not listen?""I blessed you with a kind heart, why were you cruel?"
"I blessed you with goodness, why did you sin?"
"I blessed you with a Temple, why did you not go?"
"I blessed you with the Priesthood, why did you not magnify it?"
"I blessed you with the gospel, why did you deny it?""I gave you commandments so you knew I loved you, why did you dismiss my love?"
"I gave you the gospel so you knew I am here. Why did you dismiss me?"
"I gave you trials to make you strong and for you to find me. Why did you not look for me?"
"I have blessed you in your life, because I love you! I have given you the world because I love you! I have given you the atonement because I love you! I have given you truth and knowledge because I love you! I have given you commandments and rules and trails because I love you, my dear child! Why have you dismissed my love???"

Often when I think of Judgement Day and Heavenly Father, I often picture Him sad and crying. Why did we not listen? Everything good is from God. Everything not is from Satan. Why do people confuse   
the two? Why do people dismiss His love?
We as a human race always need/ want things proven to us to believe. What are we doing to prove to God that we love Him? What will He say to us when Judgement Day comes? Will He ask, "Why did you dismiss my love?"

wisdom!

the thunder storm after the picnic!

since you came in