Two Sides

I feel like love is all around me with lots of my friends getting married, having kids, engagements, finding a special someone, etc, but yet it’s not in my life. All the love I once had was sucked right out of me when my heart was shattered… I once had so much love to give and now I fee like it is lost forever!

I love watching serious chick flicks! They have such a passionate love- one to last through the ages of time. All is possible with the love of the other. I’ve seen it happen!

But on the other hand, I have trouble seeing it. I look around and I see broken hearts- with mine included- broken homes, and broken families. Where did the love disappear to? Why do we live in such a world of hate and war and selfishness and greed amongst ourselves? How can you love in such a place? How can I find a kind heart good enough to love? Those that do love, where did they find it in such a hateful world where we are told and taught- you don’t need love, you just need yourself and look good!

I have truly loved twice and I lost it twice. A love to last into the eternities is what I thought. I was mistaken.

I long to be married, I long to love and be loved. And you know, I see couples everywhere. I don’t know if they are happy or not, but they look happy. I see families with little ones. I see babies and a mothers love. I see strong friendships. And I see me, alone and watching, wondering.

One hand- love and happiness.

Other hand- brokenness and sadness.

I stand in the middle of two sides…