"Only time you yell at me"

I have a little brother named Biff! He has been one of my very best friends my whole life! Of course, just like any little sibling, their goal in life as kids is to annoy the older sibling!

I recall this one afternoon where Biff and I were going at each other and like always he says, "What are you PMSing?!" I scream back, "I HATE when you say that!!!! For 10 years I've told you I HATE THAT!!!!! His eyes become sad and then he says, "But Emma, I know that you are, it's the only time you yell at me. . ."  He leaves the room with a frown on his face, as I just stand there saying that over and over in my head. 'its the only time you yell at me'. As I stood there, I was thinking of all the times I really yelled at my brother seeing as we hardly ever fight, and I realized, yea, the only time I would yell at him is when I was PMSing. For 10 years, how had I never noticed this fact before? We later made a joke about it and said that when I start yelling at him, then I would know I was going to start my period because I have always been ireegular and I never knew.

About a year later, he left to be a marine! I tried to not yell anymore when I was PMSing. Everyone where ever I go, call me a sweetheart. But thinking of Biff, I realized how cruel I can be at this time.

I am currently PMSing and I realized something else! Since Biff left, instead of yelling at him, I've yelled at my best guy friend! Someone that I love so dearly! I know that I am PMSing because I want to start trouble, I want to fight, I want to yell at someone! I have been very very bitter about something and it was starting to eat me alive. It has to do with my best guy friends dirty little secret. I am quite upset about the cheek of it and I want it to be exposed! I think it should be! And if he wasn't going to say anything, well then I was! I wanted to start some serious trouble and I wanted to shout at my best friend and really let him have an ear full!!!! But then those words Biff spoke entered my mind, "its the only time  you yell at me". That was how I realized that the only time I've ever yelled at my best guy friend, was when I was PMSing and I would turn cruel. . .

As I read my scriptures that night that I was sooooo tempted to expose of the secret, all the scriptures that I read (and I just opened them randomly this night) was about being a peacemaker and to be peaceable. Ok Lord, I can take a hint, my lips are sealed, just like I promised!

He has his secrets and I have mine and you have yours. And that is ok.

I am very grateful for Biff to open my eyes and to finally tell me after 10 years, "it's the only time you yell at me."

So I am writing this blog to say sorry!!! Sorry to my brother for the 11 of yelling and sorry to my best guy friend for taking my cruelty. The only time I yelled at you best friend, was when I was PMSing. Granted, I always mean what I say, but I should not have been so cruel about it all. Please forgive me?

I do love my brother and my best guy friend dearly and I am so sorry. Once again, I have to learn to not yell and not be cruel!