Agony

I had fallen ill with an inflammation of the abdomen and when it attacked me, I fell on the ground. I had tears roll down my face and I wanted to scream, but no words or sounds could escape my lips. I could barely even move. I tried to grab my phone to call someone in my family. They were all downstairs eating dinner with the missionaries having a good laugh, not knowing the pain I was feeling. But I couldn’t, I didn’t know where my phone was! All I could do, was hold myself, and I was slightly rolling around on the floor, in what I would call agony!!!

If I was ever in much pain, I would never say it was agony. Agony was a word that I only heard in church, or when people would talk about Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. And I knew I didn’t feel that bad! But when I was rolling around on the floor, I had thought to myself, this is agony! This is just a slight bit of what Christ must have felt. . .

In Sunday School this one summer day, we were talking about Christ when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane; about the agony that He had felt. The first thing I think of when we talk about this now, is when I had the inflammation of the abdomen, rolling on the floor, unable to speak or move, trying to call out to those I loved that were dear, but it was no use, I had to suffer alone. The teacher asked us to really think about all the pain and sin we have felt and committed over the last couple of months. I personally, had had so much heartache the last couple of months, losing the one I loved more than anything that I ever had before!!!! Wanting to be with him again, but couldn’t. I had cried every day for the last 3 months prior to this lesson because we could never be together again. This heartache was too much for me to bear and I became listless. The teacher then told us to think of all this heartache and all of our sins, and combine all of the feelings and cramp it all in, in only 5 minutes. Could we do it? I could barely handle all this heartache everyday; to cramp all my heartache in just 5 minutes??? No, that I could not do. Then the teacher asked us to think about all the sin we committed the last year. Add all of that to the 5 minutes. Could we still handle it? I had thought I couldn’t handle the last 3 months! Let alone the past year! Then he told us to add all the sin and pain we have ever had in our lives! He gave us 5 more minutes, so we had to feel all of our sin and pain in our whole lives, in only 10 minutes. Could we do it? Now, I’m screaming NO! Next, we had to add on all the sin and pain of everyone in our families! Shoot! I have a big family! And I don’t know all of the sin and pain they have felt! With this, he added 5 more minute, so 15 minutes, all this pain, could we do it? No he said! We are only human, we would die. Now, think of Christ, he had to feel all of our sin and pain that we have felt, and WILL still feel! For all the billions and trillions and so many more than that, that have ever lived, and still need to live, not only on this Earth, but for all of the people in other worlds. He had to suffer all of that pain and heartache in only 3 hours!!!!!!

People were so angry with Christ! They had said that Christ was just a man, He was not a God. But to suffer as he did, of course he was God! He was son of God! He needed that earthly mother, to die, but he needed the heavenly father, to live again!!! He needed that power from Heavenly Father to be able to handle all the suffering in the most painful agony ever known in every world that is!!!!

I felt belittled. I had once felt that I knew somewhat of the pain Christ had felt in the Garden. Here, I knew nothing of!

O how grateful I am, that Christ was perfect and he could, and did, suffer for all of my sins and for all of the sins for everyone! He had to be perfect, otherwise, who would atone for His sins? No one could, we are not begotten of Heavenly Father. It had to be Christ! He said that he didn’t want to do it, “Father, remove this cup from me”, no wonder he didn’t want to! But this is how much Christ loves all of us, he did it anyways. O how we are in His debt!!!! Thank you Christ, for allowing me to live and return to Heavenly Father, thank you master!